Nicki Minaj maybe riding high off of the success of The Pinkprint but the Head Barbz in Charge is dealing with heartache and a potential break up..kinda.

Onika stopped by Angie Martinez on Power 105.1 Wednesday(Dec.17) to discuss her latest project and the personal, yet reflective subject matter that runs all throughout the album. While having a bit of girl talk, Nicki opened up about her 15 year relationship with Safaree “ScaffBeezy” Samuels and admitted she isn’t sure if she’s truly single.

“My relationship was based off of love, and there still is nothing but love there,” she said. “This is not some person I picked up off the street. This is somebody I grew up with. Like, I don’t even know how I’m gonna function without that person in my life. I’ve never lived my life as a famous person without him.”

Nicki–who just wrapped up her first ever CRWN interview with Elliot Wilson–said she confides in her girlfriends and her best friend but often still wants to speak to Safaree to get his opinion. It was at this point things became too emotional for Nic, causing her to choke up, which prompted Angie to take a quick commercial break.

“The Anaconda” emcee wanted everyone to know despite what they think, her relationship was real.

“I don’t think people realize it’s not just a relationship or breakup. That was a humongous part of my life,” she told Angie. “It is something that I am dealing with publicly and it’s not easy. I’m also not gonna joke about it or try to disrespect him and try to act like he didn’t mean the world to me and still doesn’t mean the world to me. I’m just figuring it out.”

She continued by admitting had she not pursued her rap career, she would most likely be married with kids, which is also a hard pill to swallow.