Apart from sounding off about his infidelity on his new album, 4:44, JAY-Z spilled a whole lot more about the whirlwind controversy, which Beyoncé laid out oh so clearly on Lemonade, in a new mini-documentary.

In “Footnotes for ‘4:44,” the hip-hop titan put deep relationships at the forefront of things by welcoming the likes of Chris Rock, Will Smith, Kendrick Lamar, Chris Paul, Jesse Williams, Aziz Ansari, Mahershala Ali and Meek Mill to speak about connecting with women.
“This is my real life. I just ran into this place and we built this big, beautiful mansion of a relationship that wasn’t totally built on the 100 percent truth and it starts cracking. Things start happening that the public can see,” JAY-Z said of his marriage. “Then we had to get to a point of, ‘Okay, tear this down and let’s start from the beginning … It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

JAY-Z got candid at the end of the video when he recalled begging Bey to stay with him while on vacation. “I was on a boat, and I had the best time. I was like, ‘Man, this is great.’ Then she had to leave,” Jay explained in the clip. “I was, like, crushed: ‘Man, I don’t even feel like this. What is happening to my body right now? I don’t even feel like this. Did I just say… ‘Don’t leave’? All this is new for me.”

tagged in 4:44, Jay Z